Hug First Time
by HG59
Summary: Oneshot. 80XReader. Having someone pass away is emotionally empty, especially when that person had a profound impact on your life. And when you think there's no one out there that understands you, you're wrong. Completely.


**AN: At the end. Enjoy!**

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Hug- 80XReader- (First Time)

It was rough.

Life, that is.

[Name] looked at the neighborhood scenery around her. The warm heat radiated by the sun was supposed to be hot but a cool breeze accompanied it, canceling out the warmth. High pitched laughter was heard behind her and she watched as two young kids ran past her slow strolling form. A group of mothers stood outside of a house, gossiping and enjoying themselves; occasionally two of them would glance to the side to search for their child. People taking a walk would just passed by, eyes looking forward and their mind in their own world.

[Name] watched all of this happen around her. She watched as some people walking by would have their dog with them. She watched as a certain pair passed by her, not even glancing her way and she felt jealousy rose in her. Oh, how she envy those people!

Name felt heartbroken. Yes, because of love, but a different kind of love. She remembered how her beloved dog, who she had grew up with, was ambling slowly a week ago. She knew that he was old, but paid no attention and continued walking him at a snail like pace to his satisfaction. Watching him that week, she knew deep down that his end was near and she couldn't bear it. A life without him? Nonsense. She grew up with him. The childish thought that he'll never die replayed itself in her mind countless of times.

She shook her head from her dreary thoughts and continued walking. To where, she really had no idea. She just..._couldn't_ _stop_ her feet from taking her to wherever. The two children from before were with their mothers now, excitedly talking to them about their play date. The gossiping women had their attention on the children and were giggling. People were walking by, like they didn't know, _didn't care_, about what happen to her. A pair, like always, stood out and she watched with dull eyes as the owner and his beloved dog walked pass her.

She remembered spending so much time with him. Both with her pet and her friend. They had played together so much that at times they were inseparable. She remembered one playful, energetic bark of her pet and another light, joyful laughter of Yamamoto. She remember the day when they played so much that their parents found all three of them sleeping together, a mess of limb over limb and just being plain_ close_. She remembered the time when she was a preteen and with a red face, she told her trusty pet about her feelings for her friend. She, of course, never told him to his face; she was just too embarrassed. But somehow her loyal dog knew what she was trying to say and he somehow brought this confession straight to Yamamoto, somehow found the notebook scribbled with doodles of his name and hearts, and somehow brought it to his target so the truth can be reveal.

The rest is history.

She chuckled to herself and continued walking. Her fingers moved around, making sure that the plastic toy ring was still there. Yes, her beloved pet was able to make that happen and she knew that her love was able to make that come true; in the near future of course. But her visions of their future included her pet, and when he suddenly disappeared a few days, she already knew. **He was dead**. He decided to die alone, without anybody near him, without having _her_ by his side in his final moments. That was the only thing that she truly held against him. And yet, here she was, emotionless and just wandering around. She didn't feel anything at the moment. When her parents broke the news that someone had found him dead in an empty field nearby, she only nodded. Her parents were the ones who cried for her; she didn't shed a single tear. She was jealous of them, who were able to express some sort of emotion, any type of emotion, towards his death, while she didn't feel anything. She had expected this; the feelings of grief and sorrow didn't reach her heart hard enough to cry. So she didn't cry at all.

A familiar figure in her line of sight caught her attention. The male was tall and his spiky dark hair was seen from the distance. He was dressed in worn out jeans, the ones he favored the most, and underneath a red sleeveless jacket, hands within the pockets, was a white long-sleeve shirt. She remembered how he would wear this outfit every once in awhile in the spring and how she would notice this and talk about how delicious he looked to her trusty listener. But now he was **gone**.

And she stopped walking and stood there in the middle of the street, watching with solemn eyes at his approaching figure. She watched as he smiled at her, a shy and sheepish one, as if he was embarrass for accidentally finding her. But this meeting was no accident. He was looking for her and she could tell from his flushed face and the sweat from his forehead. And his smile turned into a strained one, a smile that suddenly understood her situation just from her stare. He wasn't far from her now and she saw how his brown eyes were just staring into hers, serious and deep with sadness. He knew. _**He knew**_. Now he was within an arm's length in front of her and he stopped. His eyes were still on her, watching for any signs of discomfort, waiting for her next movement.

The wind blew gently around the two standing figures, and she felt the refreshing air brush against her cheek, almost like it was trying comforting her. The two children from before resumed their play, and they were chasing each other around somewhere, laughter in the air. The mothers continued their talk; occasionally two of them would glance to the side to search for their child. She watched as the pair from before stood out, as the owner and their beloved dog walked pass her out of the corner of her eyes.

Her eyes glanced at him now, struggling to keep her rising emotions down, trying to stay strong and just stop the throbbing feeling in her chest. Her lips were trembling but she refused to cave in, to suddenly just break down out of nowhere. Then he made the first move.

Removing his hands from his jacket, he slowly, as if testing, opened his arms out and tried to grin; his effort was lost among the grief and she _knew_ that he too was holding back for her sake. And his voice, low and questioning, came out in a soft whisper.

_"Hug?" _

And she could only stand there, trembling, before she took a step and lunged her body in his awaiting arms, her own arms embracing him and just tightly hugging him, _scared_ that if she let go she'll lose him too. And she breathed in his scent, pure from his sweat and only his. She nudged her face in the front of his jacket and her body shook and the tears on the brim of her eyes soaked into the fabric, threatening to spill any moment. And she responded with a statement, one that was steady and shaky at the same time, one that only made him squeeze her tighter as if trying to conceal her weak form from the watching world.

_"I need a fucking hug right now." _

She wasn't a person for curse words and he knew this but let it slid. She was in pain and he was willing to let her release her emotions in any way possible, no matter how it came out. And he only replied with a gentle whisper, one that was carried away in the soft breeze and only heard by her.

"_**I know**_."

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**AN: I would like to say I'm sorry first! T^T I know it's been about two weeks since I actually uploaded anything, but then again I have exams coming up and I can't afford to fail them! I cannot! So before you guys go back talking about me and whatnot, I would like to state that I prefer not to type or upload anything when I'm stress out or busy. Doing so would make me feel guilty because I'm not putting my whole effort into my schoolwork and the stories I upload, so thanks to those who understand.**

**But anyways, happy birthday Yamamoto! ^.^ You're forever 14 years old! (or 24 years old for those of you who like him like that *wink*). As some of you might have notice, this story is titled Hug- First Time. YES, that does mean that there's one squeal to it! (And ONLY one). I'll upload it once I write it out (don't worry, I have the idea down ^.^).**

**So I'll be back as soon as I can, nya? Just expect irregular updates from time to time! See you guys later!**

**-HG**


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